let me be/ your breath a poem by Grace Kelley grow in me— all that is new & tender the unseen seems more real with each fluttering sign of presence. (the flutters gave them away after all) —how I knew they were two & not only one. Now my desires are more refined than ever. so grow in me— until the pain makes it hard to rise from my sheets until I’m stretched & marred far beyond my capacity until red stripes mark my belly full & heavy with the weight of the glory of you. grow in me— until sleep becomes a stranger until breaths feel hard to take— for the crowding of my lungs is no less Holy than singing praises to the God who made you. grow in me— until you are ready to breathe with fresh lungs— until the sweet echos of your first cries tear open places always meant for loving you. Until then Dear Ones, grow in me— & let me be your breath.
Mother’s Day’s can be sweet and awkward at the same time.
The sweetness of your kid’s handmade card, the awkwardness of realizing they think you live in the kitchen. 😂
The sweetness of breakfast in bed, the awkwardness of eating food your kids invented.
The sweetness of looking into the faces of those you love, the sadness that shows up to the party like that awkward friend wearing too much cologne; reminding you of all you have lost.
I have been so guilty of wanting to be either one way, or the other. Good or bad. Happy or sad. But God is inviting me to see it can be both/and. In this world where we are sorrowful, yet we can still rejoice.
This tension is hard to hold, and I know today brings up equal measures of joy and sorrow. So here is to you my friends; those with bedrooms full of tiny blessings, with rooms that still hold memories of children now grown and gone, those who have gained by birth or adoption, those of you whose hearts are full today.
And here’s to you my friends, with some children snug in their beds, but the memories of those you have lost still held close to your aching chest. Here’s to you who have lost mothers—who wish with all your heart that you had someone to call today.
Here’s to you who have met every mother’s day with grief in the face of another woman’s joy, who greet today with empty arms for every reason possible: infertility, child loss, even an abortion you now deeply regret.
Here’s to every woman who has poured a cup of water for a little one in the name of Jesus, who has mothered brothers or sisters or friends on days they needed it most: you reflect the life giving nature of God.
To each and every one of you beautiful souls out there today—whether you be a mother by the worlds standards or not, may you feel seen, valued, and loved by your creator God today.
May you see the ways he invites you into the sweetness of his presence in the midst of your sorrow.
May you see the ways you are blessed in the mundane and awkward moments that will greet you as you step into this day.
And may you remember always that the Gospel is big enough for YOU.