New Year, and resolutions again

So I know anyone who has followed this blog this past month in the hopes of seeing semi-regular postings is probably disappointed. But it was one of those months; the holidays are always crazy, and combine that with the fact that at least one member of our family was sick every week since Thanksgiving, writing got pushed to the back, back burner. Some day maybe, I’ll figure out how to not let that happen. But that will probably when I do not have two kids age 3 and 16 months…they keep me on my toes.

I’ve been struggling with the idea of having this blog. I’m not completely sure how to use it well, or what I am even trying to accomplish by having an online presence here. More and more and feel drawn to the pen and the page, but then I just read a little post on my favorite writing website, Hope*Writers, and realized that if I don’t write where people can read it, then I might as well stick to a journal.

So the question is, am I writing because I think God sometimes gives me good things to say, that other people would be encouraged to hear? Yes. The other question is this, is there a way I can do that without feeling like I’m getting sucked into the social media, internet age vortex of MORE, BETTER, NOW? Is there a way this homebody, back-to-basics, play in the dirt, buy a piece of land in the mountains kind of a girl can write on the internet in a way that feels true to who she is?

I’ll be honest; the thought of having hundreds of followers scares me. I’m not even sure I want to write a blog that will be widely read; I’m afraid of the expectations that will be set upon me if I start doing anything consistently for a long time. What will happen if I can’t continue? What about when we have another baby someday and I’m back in the haze of new born sleep deprivation? What if inspiration fails to strike? I’m afraid I’ll let you down again.

So, no promises yet. (Not again, at least not this time.) I’m taking some time this New Year to reflect. I’m trying to figure out what God has for me here in this space. Your patience is greatly appreciated. And feel free to pray too, that always helps. 😉

 

2 thoughts on “New Year, and resolutions again

  1. Catherine

    I had a Xanga site years ago where I could write for me and only a handful of people had access to it. The crazy thing about it is that we all met online through real life connections to similar life experiences. After about four or five years we navigated to Facebook which is far less personal and private and we all had more kids, went back to school, moved around, etc but we’ve all been friends for over 10 years now. I liked the format that I could write openly without sharing to everyone in the interwebs and then I felt free to say everything I needed to for myself. Before there was the internet, I was a faithful journal-er (IDK the word) but I have about 30 journals I filled between 1989 and 2006. I even have lots of stories about you! 🙂 All that to say, I think as long as you put expectations on yourself from everyone else it will be difficult to write from your heart. Don’t force it. Just write when you have time and write about real things. The thing that caught my attention a few weeks ago was when you said something like, “it’s only Wednesday” or something and it made laugh because I know exactly how that feels. Sean has been busy with his rock star job and traveling the world around and he joined a rock band too. Meanwhile, I’ve been dealing with the power outages, sick kids, the furnace died, the water heater had to be replaced, our flooring was destroyed, the washer wouldn’t drain, the dryer blew a fuse, the roof needed to be replaced, etc. Then there are all the things we’ve dealt with this year that we can’t write about for legal reasons. Additionally, I can’t finish a thought in my head without my 4 yr old repeating the same thing over and over and over to me until I answer her. Sometimes it’s so insanely busy that I don’t have time to connect with friends (most of the time) because we’re all in the same boat to a point, but reading your blog last month gave me the feeling that I’m not alone and there are other people that get it. Parenting young kids is this wildly random experience of routine that is never truly routine because something always changes. Not to mention that it feels like I’m never alone even though spending all day, every day with young kids can be lonely.
    Don’t underestimate yourself, but don’t try to meet any expectations either. Be candid, be yourself… it’s interesting to read about a typical day in the life of Gracie. Blogging is sort of like writing letters to your friends. 🙂

    1. gracielizmk

      Thanks so much Cat. Your encouragement means so much to me, thank you! I’m still just trying to figure out how to be a writer and a Mama, but I’m sure at some point, it’ll feel like my feet are at least mostly on the ground. 😉 I just need to keep going, see how it goes, and not give up. Thank you.

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