God help me.

Only five days into this and I am starting to feel like trying to find inspiration in the middle of my daily chaos is a near impossible task. Right now I am still in my jammies, unshowered for days. Boaz just went down for a nap, Ellie is painting at the kitchen table. The only sounds are the spin of the washing machine and the sound of a paint brush against card stock as Ellie works on her latest masterpiece.

The relative peace of this moment contrasts sharply with the undone tasks that surround me. The dishwasher is halfway unloaded. I’m only halfway through sorting the paper pile that I had determined to deal with this weekend. My house desperately needs dusting. And the toys have all gone to entropy again.

Incomplete tasks surround me, and the frantic perfectionist locked up in my Soul is totally freaking out. This past week and weekend I have listened to her voice far too often. I have let her influence my thoughts and therefore my actions. It’s been a relapse I guess you could say. But it’s Monday morning now; a chance for a new beginning and hopefully a shower before I go to the chiropractor. Today I can choose to drown out her frantic words with some words of my own.

Today, I can choose to be inspired amidst the chaotic mundane. Today, I can ask God’s grace to help me walk by the Spirit. Today, I can REST; allowing the present to be imperfect, as I learned on Emily P. Freeman’s blog a week or so ago. Today, I can choose to “maintain” my home and my family with service and love, instead of demanding that both fit into my convenient check boxes of completed tasks.

God help me. (No, seriously.)

 

 

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