I have a burden on my heart.  I have a burden for the lost; for the ones that feel that they are alone and unloved.  For the ones that stubbornly look away, deciding that life their way will be better. The young man struggling with his identity so fiercely that he forgets to look to Christ.  The young woman who desires to be self-made because she needs to control.  For my brothers and sisters in Christ who are hurting and who are falling away.  For those that have yet to realize that they are children of God, but upon whom I wish I could bestow such a blessing as a truly intimate relationship with Him.

I weep sometimes.  Especially for those few that are nearest to my heart.  I have a burden.  There is someone that I love, more than I could ever truly put into words; and she is such a blessing and a joy on my life; but the moment that I loved her this much, I realized that she would be an equally heavy burden.

Not that I feel restrained or weighed down by her at all, no, it’s not that.  But her pain makes me weep.  Her heart is intimately connected with my own.  But she has yet to turn to her Heavenly Father for the love and the comfort that only He can give.  That is my burden for her; and I love her so much that I just want her to realize how truly loved and cared for she is!

My heart aches physically.  I can feel the burning of the tears in the back of my throat.  My love is too great; and the choice is hers.  But this burden is also a blessing.  I feel supremely blessed to feel even a fraction of the way that I know Christ feels; and His tears are for the whole lost world!  So much did He love this lost world that He came to redeem it through His death on a cross!  So heavy was His burden at watching His children struggle in the mud and the muck, that I imagine when God asked Him to go, He went immediately without a second thought at what it would cost Him.  IF ONLY I COULD LOVE THAT MUCH!  It is incredible.  It is intoxicating.  It would override everything I know about my life and the people in my life… and they would probably commit me to an insane asylum.

This burden is spurned by a crazy love.  It is  a burden coming from “the Divine Madman”(Brennan Manning).  And feeling this way about someone else is a heady reminder of how insanely our God loves each and every one of us; and of how much He just wants us to stop carrying that weight that He has already relieved from us.

2 thoughts on “Burdened

  1. Joy Morton

    You have such a tender and beautiful heart Grace! I am so glad that God is working in you and I know He will use that broken heart for His glory.

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